How do we forgive ourselves?

Oftentimes, our worst critic is ourselves. And in our bid to be better, we sometimes notice all the little wrongs and sins that we commit regardless of how others perceive us.

I’d like to relate my reflection to the topic of self-realization, which was discussed in the critical realism online study space held awhile ago. What stood out to me is the definition of a “transcendentally real self”, which is a mixture of ego, embodied personality, and an unlimited transcendentally real being. (I know, it’s hard to understand!)

In a way, we are able to objectively define our “self” based on our past and consistent behaviors, thoughts, and tendencies. But at the same time, our sense of self cannot be reduced to these patterns and personality. Just as a caterpillar can be a butterfly and a seed can be a gigantic tree, we have the infinite (uncountable) potential to evolve and prosper.

There is a kind of peace in accepting our tendencies to do wrong; to acknowledge that we may tend to be impatient, irritable, or judgemental. This kind of self-awareness allows us to choose how we desire to grow and flourish.

For the religious, only God can grant full forgiveness for the truly repenting person. But practically for us, to authentically repent and forgive ourselves is simultaneous (I think). And what makes it easier is the knowledge that there are countless ways we can repent and do our penance.

And hopefully, we don’t repeat the same mistakes in a relatively similar context. When that happens, we’re just fooling ourselves.

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Matthew 9:1-8. Your sins are forgiven

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 181: JUNE 30, 2022]

A droplet of faith

It is natural to be afraid if it is rooted in being self-aware of our weaknesses and limitations. In the greater scheme of things, there are so many forces outside of our control, and that the unknown can feel very paralyzing to even try comprehending.

Thus, in a sense, even a droplet of faith can make us feel sane, or even “wiser”, because we arrive at a better understanding of ourselves, the world, and a glimpse of the spiritual.

When a leap feels too much, there is solace that a droplet of faith may be enough. And we, together with the angels and saints and God, will have a good laugh, like how we look back to the mistakes we did when we were young.

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Matthew 8:23-27. O you of little faith

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 179: JUNE 28, 2022]

Help it be

“Speaking words of wisdom, let it be!”

This weekend, I was fortunate to find a bit of rest and staycation with the family and my wife for my birthday. Although some would consider my birthday a “milestone” one in terms of age, I am really not the type to arrange something with all the bells and whistles.

My wife surprised me with a birthday cake that if scanned via a smartphone, Spotify will play a song. And Mika chose the song Let It Be as a theme song for this birthday. Great choice! Haha!

During my formative years, I have been enamored with shonen hero stories like Dragon Ball Z, Japanese RPGs and the individualistic hero ball basketball of Michael Jordan. There is such appeal to feeling powerful enough, almost a messianic complex, to be a savior or one-man team. “Make it happen!” Maybe because as an awkward introverted boy in an all-boys grade school, I did not want to be perceived as weak nor useless by my peers. I also did not want to be someone who just “let things happen” passively.

But as I become more mature and carry more responsibilities as a professor, a ninong, as a man, I realize that it is important to “help things happen”. I got this insight during Dr. Hilary Bradbury’s discussion on action research for transformations, and this seemed to be a great theme as I claim to enter my prime.

Helping things happen demands that a person is self-aware and also others-aware, such that we can find synergies and harmonies. “Self-with-others”. This means I should lean into who I am based on the strengths and tendencies I have consistently demonstrated in my life, while also entangling myself with others to pursue our missions in career and life. This is more akin to Tim Duncan, Dirk Nowitzki, and Stephen Curry in basketball; Luffy (One Piece) in terms of manga and anime.

Maybe the invitation for me in the next stage of my life is to embrace authenticity in a technical and meaningful way; to honor who I was and help myself in becoming. In doing so, hopefully I will be able to authentically help those I love and those around me; flourishing together.

To end, I dare revise Paul McCartney’s beautiful lyric:

“Speaking words of wisdom, help it be!”

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Luke 9:51-62. I will follow you

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 177: JUNE 26, 2022]

One repenting sinner and the ninety-nine righteous people

In the parable of the prodigal son, the righteous brother felt slighted that the father threw a celebration to welcome back the lost son. In a way, this is very understandable.

But at the same time, this may be the final roadblock for the truly righteous or virtuous: removing envy and insecurities, and rejoicing when a truly repenting fellow comes back and commits to being better.

In a way, this is the burden of a person who truly seeks to be virtuous or righteous: how can we transcend the pursuit of external rewards for our good behavior? How can we better internalize that the purity of our good actions and the peace it brings are the ultimate rewards in themselves, not external incentives?

The temptation of the devil is for the ninety-nine righteous people to become a mob that chooses to cancel the lost but repentant sinner.

Maybe, the invitation is to embrace not “self-over-others” nor “self-for-others” (because practically we need to retain a piece of ourselves for ourselves). It is to embrace “self-with-others”; being secure with who we are while finding how our natural gifts can be a means of accompaniment for repenting people committing to find their way.

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Luke 15:3-7. Finding one lost sheep

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 175: JUNE 24, 2022]

Unknowingly becoming a false prophet

We tend to characterize “false prophets” as maliciously pretending to be good and expressing words that sound good, but are ultimately false or evil.

But if we (over)think about it, isn’t it possible to inadvertently become false prophets ourselves?

Especially for us teachers, we claim to know more about certain things compared with others. The challenge is that knowledge is constantly updating. What we may have previously learned as timeless principles can turn out to be myths that must be busted today or in the future.

Think about the gravity of this: we may give out advice that we believe to be “sound”, but may turn out to be detrimental for the person’s flourishing.

This is why it is a red flag for an expert to not scope one’s level of awareness and intelligence; to claim that “I know more about this so shut up and listen!” A true expert or a true prophet acknowledges the bounds of one’s knowledge. A true expert’s confidence is not built on a shaky fluff of hubris, but rather, it is rooted in a solid rock of humility.

Thus, we are compelled to examine ourselves. Especially those who teach, “influence”, or “create content”. We may think sharing our views and messages is harmless fun, but if left unchecked or not examined, we may inadvertently become false prophets that we claim to reject.

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Matthew 7:15-20. Beware of false prophets

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 173: JUNE 22, 2022]