[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 5: JANUARY 5, 2022]

“Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!”

Gospel – Mark 6:45-52. After Jesus fed five thousand men.

We tested positive for COVID-19. The Gospel seemed like a personal message from God: “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!”

I would always tell my students, know your controllables and try to manage them. For the uncontrollables, try to mitigate them. But perhaps this is where reason can fail and faith shall enter.

My controllables and knowns: we took vaccines, we regularly drink vitamin C and zinc to boost immunity. If this is the omicron variant, early reports say that omicron is more contagious but less lethal.

But there are still unknowns, and many things can go wrong.

Therefore, take courage and faith. I take courage from the fact that we prepared for this, and I take faith that all shall be well.

Get vaccinated, get boosted!

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 4: JANUARY 4, 2022]

On the Word and the miracles

Gospel – Mark 6:34-44. Jesus feeds five thousand men.

This is one of the most popular miracles. From a supernatural angle, this demonstrates the ability of Jesus to multiply food. From a more rational angle, this story demonstrates how the human Jesus can inspire followers to be generous with one another.

Perhaps a running theme of my reflections would be to ponder miracles: should I believe in miracles literally, as in empirically and actually happening? Another question could be: should I anchor my faith on literal miracles to be an authentic Christian or Catholic?

My current answer might be in contrast with the belief of other Christians: no. I may be having the courage to adopt this kind of stance precisely because of people of the Christian faith who are also proponents of reason.

In fact, at the risk of expressing a more controversial stance, I am having a growing opinion that it does not matter to me if the miracles and the resurrection would be debunked. What matters more would be to anchor my faith on the virtues and invitation of Christ to reflect, as He would articulate via the parables, His revised commandments on loving our neighbors, and the Beatitudes.

As Aquinas and Lonergan beautifully articulated, the beauty of life and the world’s ecosystems suggests that there must be a Grand Designer or a Primary Insight; the Word. Therefore, there must be a benevolent God. To me, the human Jesus provided lessons that other humans could potentially live out. And our quest for meaning and purpose suggests that we need spiritual nourishment, or flourishing something beyond our own egos. (Food for thought: should miracles have to be literally real to encounter the insight that there is a Grand Designer or a Primary Insight? I don’t think so. That’s why it matters less to me if miracles would ultimately be debunked.)

Is the human Jesus inviting us to commune with the Word? I strongly think so. The human Jesus does not strike me as prideful nor jealous (compared with some of the Old Testament depiction of God). He invites us to think and deeply reflect. And I find a growing appreciation for the Catholic Liturgy of the Word, because in this practice, we can better partake of the Word in Holy Communion.

Other humans, even those who claim to be holy, are fallible. We’ve heard of sexually abusive Catholic priests. Heck, I have even learned of teachers of faith who sexually abuse minors! Therefore, a person who claims to be a holy silver bullet seems more likely to be a fake messiah, for this person tempts the vulnerable to reject reason and blindly obey, “just because”.

Thus, my resolution seems to grow stronger: spirituality only anchored on blindly obeying a personality, as well as spirituality that fully rejects reason, is incomplete and unreliable. Spirituality anchored on both faith and tempering reason, to me, is stronger or preferable.

I come to this conclusion perhaps because of my experiences engaging in dialogue with my parents, mentors, friends, and loved ones, who can agree to disagree with me, yet I have strong faith that they are always looking out for me as I look out for them. It doesn’t matter who “wins” the argument. What matters more is the collaborative discernment towards the Word, the Truth, the Primary Insight.

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 3: JANUARY 3, 2022]

Matthew 4:12-17, 23-25. Jesus grows His public ministry

How do we “truly follow Jesus”?

It seems that the allure of Jesus is in His ability to materially manifest miracles – healing, and later on, turning water into wine, and multiplying loaves of bread to feed five thousand. This could be an eye-catching spectacle on the realm of the material and empirical.

However, I wonder if a faith anchored on amazement towards the material representation of miracles (as in, experiencing miracles) is a strong and deeply rooted one?

Lately, the representation of Jesus that resonates most with me is being the Word incarnate; the Word made flesh. I am inspired by how Lonergan characterizes God as the Primary Insight where all other insights emanate from. Insights require intelligence and inquisitiveness in iterative understanding, as well as reasonableness in judgements and meaning-making.

Therefore, for me, to truly follow Jesus is to reflect on His words (as the Word Himself), which implies that critical and creative thinking should not be surrendered. A kind of faith that is mostly contingent on material manifestations of miracles seems incomplete at best or hypocrisy at worst. Reflection and action is needed, for it means that the faithful gained insight from the Word and acted in virtue.

Is this not what a personal miracle should be?

Imagine if businesses and organizations can go beyond products and services that only target sensual pleasures and alleviation of physical and emotional pain. Imagine if marketing is not only driven by perceptions, but instead drives the market to lead better authentic lives.

The Word is more than what meets the eye and what pleases the senses. Thus, the more important (yet humanly attainable) miracle is to internalize the Word and act in virtue instead of fixating on replicating the materially impossible made possible.

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 2: JANUARY 2, 2022]

The King of the Wise Men

Matthew 2:1-12. The Magi visit Jesus; Herod fears losing his throne

I want to reflect on two points: (1) Herod’s political ruthlessness versus the kind of leader Jesus would grow to be, and (2) the wise men being drawn to Jesus.

First, in mainstream strategic management, the goal of business is articulated as follows (with similar variations):

Competitive advantage.

Profit maximization.

Gaining market share.

Herod’s insecurity against any entity that could topple his rule is beginning to be displayed. The traditional view of kings and leaders is that they are strongmen, ruthless, dictator-like. This is in direct contrast to the kind of leadership Jesus espoused – servant leadership and humility. Jesus seemed to like going against the norm, eh? Haha!

This is parallel to the growing movement today in business and management, that more emphasis should be placed on social and ecological well-being rather than the traditional profit maximizing perspective. If Jesus were to be a manager today, how would he act? Would he rebel against myopic shareholder value maximizing activities? Would he willingly give up enormous executive compensation to help company frontliners get decent living wages? How would he define “value”?

For now, I don’t have the answers to my inquiries, but this is a great segue to the second point for reflection I want to engage in: the wise men being drawn to Jesus.

One thing I have come to deeply appreciate in the Catholic faith is the presence of philosophers – thinkers, proponents of reason. St. Thomas Aquinas easily comes to mind. In my research, I cite Fr. Bernard Lonergan (on insights and the general empirical method) and our action research guru Fr. David Coghlan. When I was young, “science vs. faith” was something that piqued my curiosities. But the existence of these wise men make me appreciate the Holy Spirit’s gift of knowledge and wisdom; intelligence and reasonableness. There is harmony in science and faith.

What separates a cult and a religion based on authentic spirituality? My answer is how they approach blind compliance versus encouraging critical thinking. A cult = blind compliance. An authentic religion = ethics, virtues, critical thinking.

After all, for a teacher and a researcher, what better spiritual experience than to know God more deeply through a series of aha and eureka moments? Thus, for me, the powerful prayers are those where the Holy Spirit provides me clues on how to answer the dilemmas I may be facing. Helpful hints, not answers in cheat sheets. Right now I feel God telling me that He has carried me multiple times and will continue to do so; but I’d rather see two footprints on the sand, to walk with Him, not just always let Him do the heavy lifting. This is what it means to integrally develop, right? A religion should feel more like a way of life towards integral development, rather than just a series of rules to blindly comply with.

I draw inspiration from how the three wise men sought Jesus. If I fashion myself as wanting to grow in wisdom and insights, maybe I should seek the Word too.

[DAILY GOSPEL INSIGHTS AND REFLECTION FOR MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION 1: JANUARY 1, 2022]

The Shepherd of shepherds, the Manager of managers

Luke 2:16-21. The shepherds visit the newborn Jesus.

For this new year 2022, one of my resolutions is to honor and hone my writing / general insighting skills while practicing my Christian spirituality. I intend to do so by writing my personal daily reflections on the Gospel for the day, specifically on how the Word could provide insights on management and organization.

Hopefully, this can intellectually and spiritually nourish whoever reads this. As Fr. Dave Concepcion mentioned in one of his homilies, we need to exercise virtue for we could be the only Bible or Gospel another person sees or hears for today. Perhaps this is how I desire to heed that invitation.

The Gospel for January 1, 2022 seems very opportune to start my personal writing / insighting resolution – shepherds recognizing the holiness of Jesus as the Shepherd of shepherds. Should we view Jesus as the Manager of managers too?

Before the pandemic, I consulted Fr. Luis Lorenzo for spiritual guidance in navigating a career in the academe. And one of the key insights that struck me the most is the importance of virtue. Simply put, virtue meant a deliberate and consistent practice of good habits towards good intentions. These two quotes came to mind:

“Good better best, never let it rest, until good becomes better, and better becomes best.”

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

How do we reconcile this with business management and organization? Perhaps there is insight in what being a prophet really means. We tend to view prophets as predictors of the future. I think prophets anticipate the future via the Holy Spirit’s gifts of knowledge and wisdom, allowing prophets to “read” and “really see” how societies and entities interact towards good or bad outcomes.

Managers can be prophets of the good news by deliberately designing organizational systems that facilitate practice of virtues – shepherding mentees, staying true to the divine (old and new testament) commandments, and prioritizing socioecological well-being as primary outcomes of management and organizing.

(I realize I am tending to write plenty of business jargon here, so perhaps I should improve on this in the next days for easier understanding and more effective articulation.)

As a segue to the next Gospels, one of the questions I’m pondering: why does Jesus speak in relatively ambiguous ways? My tentative answer is that Jesus does not want to spoonfeed the Good Word, and as intelligent beings, we must embrace pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, be intelligent in our insights and reasonable in our judgements. The parables and His examples allow us to derive more benevolent meaning and insights towards a more fulfilling spiritual nourishment.

The Shepherd of shepherds. The Manager of managers. Let us be accountable to Him in the way we lead, manage, and organize!

Why play the guitar and jam with a band?

Like most of my friends, I learned how to play the guitar in an informal manner. My first guitar “teachers” were chord charts, music websites, YouTube artists, friends, and one of my female cousins.  It is a good hobby to take up – it helps connect with people, build relationships, an help someone be more in touch with his more creative side.

Music, particularly from OPM bands (Original Pinoy Music), was a significant part of my high school days. Although it was a time when the all-time famous Eraserheads already broke up, many bands started emerging (or re-emerging) – filling the airwaves. We watched Myx and tried to play songs from Hale, Mayonnaise, Sponge Cola, Bamboo, Sugarfree and Bamboo to name a few – sprinkled with Eheads, Rivermaya, and Parokya ni Edgar.  It was a good age to be if you’re a fan of the OPM brand of alternative rock.

Back then, I was contented to be able to play chords and strum along with the music I listen to. Jamming along the hallway or inside the classroom – that was a big piece of music embedded in my sweet teen years. I remember vividly the joy I felt when I was able to learn my first song – Rivermaya’s Kisapmata!  Down, down, up, up, down.  D – Em – A -G. Rinse, repeat.  “O kay bilis naman maglaho ng pag-ibig mo sinta!”  Lyrics and music apt for a teenage boy just discovering what it means to love.

As part of the student council organization in my high school, we were in charge of spearheading band festivals, concert parties, and competitions.  Since I was part of the organizers and I was a beginner guitarist back then, I never participated in one (Well, except one, in Baguio.  We won something in that competition, but let’s just say some things are better left unsaid! Haha!).

Fast forward to today, I am fortunate to have good opportunities to play music. With my girlfriend, Mika, we play cover instrumentals of songs.  One of our covers, Up Dharma Down’s Tadhana, fortunately was well-received. Although not as popular as other videos, we are proud to get 9000 views with 100 likes at YouTube!

 

Also, to satisfy our more “rock”-y cravings, I’m playing with a band mostly composed of my high school friends.  I’m excited that we are now doing sessions with a female vocalist who can sing some Paramore and female-voiced OPM songs.  Hopefully in the not-so-long future, we can post covers or compositions via Soundcloud or YouTube.

However, we must acknowledge that we still have ways to go – improving our musical senses, building chemistry and letting it show with the way we are synchronized during our rehearsals.

Little by little, I realize that what was once a hobby is now becoming a more vital chunk of my life.  Hence, like how I took basketball seriously during my high school years, I think it is only fitting that I honor music better by studying it in a more formal sense.

That’s why I enrolled under the Yamaha School of Music (or Yupangco Music Academy), which is fortunately near my house!  Upon recommendation of a well-respected jazz-musician friend and the teacher there (who, admirably, studied at the UST Conservatory of Music with jazz background), I took up Electric Guitar lessons versus the Classical Guitar course.  Although it costs quite a bit, I treat it as an investment.  Hopefully I can incorporate my learnings in covers of songs or compositions!

I had my first lesson yesterday, and I had a great time appreciating the theory behind my intuitive feel of music back then.  Getting to know chords and notes better, appreciating scales, and just grasping the beauty of music as an amalgamation of science and art, yet flexible enough to make it one’s personal burst of expression.

Playing music is fun – with every chord strummed or strings plucked, with lyrics written and sang, it provides a liberating experience that is similar or even greater than the itch to scratch one’s creative expression.  But now, instead of treating it as a hobby, I think I should pay closer attention to the process.

If I should choose one learning from Kobe Bryant, it is the appreciation of the process.  I want to apply this to learning music.

No shortcuts.

Impatience not for the reward, but impatience to constantly improve one’s self.

Working for a reward.

And should it be possible, even if just a microcosm, hopefully I can enjoy my music journey the same way Kobe enjoyed his last game.

The dribble and the beat of music synchronizing with heartbeats – feeling more alive.

The pass and assists or taking music rests to let others put imprint in the songs and life we experience.

The swish of the net or the sweet note played – savoring the indescribable eargasmic feeling it provides.

And finally, diving for the loose ball- amidst mistakes or playing wrong notes and chords, having the tenacity to recover and play the game of basketball and music, the way it’s supposed to be played.

The mind appreciating the intricacies and complexities.  The heart appreciating the elegance in simplicity and the emotions roaring to be released.  The soul eager to transcend worldly and heavenly existence, even for just a split second.

Picture courtesy of www.reverb.com – Epiphone ES-339 P90 Pro

To those living in Metro Manila, we are all familiar with the bumper-to-bumper carmageddon traffic that EDSA passers-by struggle to live with.  This was the inspiration behind a Filipino love song I wrote, entitled “Uwi” – describing my personal experiences as I drive my car to bring my girlfriend home (uwi can be loosely translated as going home).

Perhaps for lovers (at least in my perspective), a long way home aggravated by heavy traffic is not so bad after all, since it lengthens that always-split-second-moment that we are together with our respective special someone.  Even after hours of snail-paced traffic, we dare ask, “Father Time is unfair – he passes slowly when we are alone, but flies fast if we are with our beloved!”

Lyrics and chords below, in the beautiful Filipino language:

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Intro and Verse
C9-GM7

Matulog ka muna
Mahaba-haba pa ang byahe, patapos na ang gabi
Iyo bang napupuna?
Kahit barado’ng trapik, may ngiti sa aking labi

Refrain
Am7 – Bm7 –
C9 – D – D7

Eh pano ba naman
Ayaw nang mabitin pa
Kapag ang aking kanan
Hindi bakanteng silya

Chorus

C9 – D – Em9 or G/B – G
F/C – C – F/C – D – D7

Madaya, madugas, nakakainis ang oras
Ang bagal kapag wala ka’t pag katabi na kita mabilis lumipas

Ayos lamang bang tayo’y magtagal
Pag-ibig ko sayo ay lalo ko pang ipaiiral

(In terms of music, I am very heavily influenced by sir Ebe Dancel’s work lately.  For this particular song, I think the most dominant flavors present are Sugarfree’s Telepono and Hangover.  Thank you very much to Sir Ebe for showing that OPM or original Filipino music can really pull the strings of the heart!)

Photo from http://preen.inquirer.net/files/2015/09/sept-8-carmaggedon-EDSA-heay-rain-rush-hour-traffic-preen-e1441795982162.jpg

I have been fortunate to have the opportunity in trying many things in terms of internships and jobs, spanning from my college years up to this day where I am finishing my Master in Business Administration degree.  I have tried working for multinational companies, nonprofit organizations, a startup, and currently as a member of the higher education academic community.

 

Viewed in the traditional perspective, this smorgasbord of experiences may raise red flags from seasoned HR practitioners.  They might say this is typical Gen Y or Millienial mentality—fickle, selfish, and to some extent disloyal to an organization.  However, the overarching theme emerging from these career decisions revolve around picking the best aspects of each stint and reconciling them with my goal of living a holistic career, imbued with money, mission, and passion harmonizing with the way I think life should be lived.  I believe that the key to living a career featuring sustainability and responsibility is how a person is able to reconcile these aspects with minimal tradeoffs.  Below are four initial lessons or reflections I would like to share.

 

Point 1: Desire for flexibility

 

I acknowledge that I do not have the most concrete ideas on what the ideal “CSR” career will look like.  Hence, I have this great desire for flexibility that allows for inflection points and shaping my vision as it emerges.

 

This is what I found challenging in highly structured organizations with concrete goals and visions, usually prevalent in multinational corporations.  There are set goals to be met – quotas, number of projects, maintaining clients, etc.  Your performance and rewards are basically measured by how well you execute these mandated goals, and if one executes and even exceeds these targets, usually big rewards await.

 

However, the flipside is critical: one must be fully dedicated to the company goals or else he cannot maximize his productivity and will be stuck in a conundrum of always second guessing one’s self.  Ideally, one’s personal vision should be tightly aligned with the company goals.  If one should pursue a CSR career in highly structured organizations, it is vital to integrate your personal CSR goals with the company’s mechanisms.

 

In my personal experience, this is hard.  A corporate career with great personal flexibility is like capturing a lightning in a bottle.  It will take tremendous alignment between your immediate stakeholders to make things work.  Hence, I found it beneficial for me right now to work in an organization that allows me to be a kind of “intrapreneur”—leveraging resources of the organization while aligning it with my personal and emerging visions of what an ideal personal CSR could be.

 

Point 2: Maximizing opportunities

 

The environment or context we live in is very dynamic and eternally changing in a very fast pace.  As a result of this, I think gone are the days where personal and organizational visions should be fixed; rather, they must be agile enough to maximize whatever opportunities may arise along the way.

 

Since personal CSR is somewhat relative and can be changed, it is vital for person to somewhat design his life that exposes him to many opportunities that allow for tinkering money, mission, and passion.  In my personal experience, after I attained my undergraduate degree, I was fixated on being very deliberate with my choices.  A leads to B leads to C leads to D. I failed to recognize that truly, only change is constant, and the happenings in my surroundings will undoubtedly influence my options.

 

Hence, I am now biased for positions and roles which allow many kinds of opportunities arising.  I am still not very comfortable with uncertainty, but I take peace in the fact that with uncertainty comes opportunity—steps that allow for better designing of a career that truly reconciles money, mission, and passion.

 

Point 3: Sticking to my key strengths

 

The challenge in trying many things is the danger of confusing one’s self in terms of answering the question: “Where am I good at?  What do I want to be known as great at?”  I have tried managing an organization’s social media, executing marketing activations, implementing various projects and events, designing paraphernalia, and improving operations and processes.  The fear was real – I did not want to be a jack of all trades, master of none.  At best, I wanted to be a jack of all trades, master of one or even some (because mastering everything is difficult, if not impossible).

 

And that pursuit of mastery of one, for me, turned to be writing.  Sometimes creative writing, in forms of simple songs, poetry, and blogging; sometimes technical writing, in forms of documents, formal letters, and scholarly research articles.  I wished to be competent in many areas concerning management of organizations, but I know that I am in my element when my activities involve writing.  I am not yet the best creative or technical writer I could be; and that is okay.  I will continue to grow and I can confidently improve because I know what my key strength is.

 

For this, I am grateful for my high school English mentor and my current research mentors.  Through them, I was able to affirm something that I know I have the potential at, and this allows me to frame sustainability and social responsibility in terms of my key strength.

 

 

Point 4: Staying loyal to my personal values and purpose – “personal legend”

 

Currently, what I really value is the ability to reconcile idealism and being practical, mission and money, dreams of what could be grounded on what can really be.  It seems that in all my previous stints in various organizations, I always challenge myself to think in terms of proving idealism need not be mere naivete, rather, it allows for ideas that help us make reality a much better place to live in.

 

Have I crafted already that ideal career that integrates money and mission, sustainability and social responsibility?  Not yet.  I dare say I am still far from it.  That is where faith comes in – a belief that every struggle is every knock that persistently opens that door.  “Knock and the door will be opened.”  And by all means, let us knock hard, bang hard, because the career we desire will not be given; it shall be earned.  And though God loves us, He will not open the doors just because He pities us.  He knows we deserve better than that.

 

We will knock.  We will shout.  Once He deems us as deserving, then the door will be opened to us.

After a year-long hiatus from writing stuff on the internet through a personal blog, I’m reviving my WordPress site.  I tried managing a more personalized site (www.patchaure.com), but the administrative backend demands and my previous projects prevented me from properly managing it.  I’m planning to recover some posts I wrote when I was a part-time lecturer for DLSU and post it here again.

To “re-launch” my site, which I think is now leaner and more cost-friendly (no more hosting fees yey!), I’m unveiling my personal logo… or emblem?  Or symbol?

Patch Aure's Blog

 

This was inspired by one of my favorite diagrams – the Venn Diagram.  For DLSU RVR College of Business students, this inspiration is familiar as the college’s logo also features a more minimalist Venn Diagram.  The diagram for me represents many things that I wanted to reconcile: idealism and being practical; mind and heart; what is and what could be; money and mission.

For readers of Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons, you may be familiar with the ambigram. This logo aspires to be a good ambigram.  (If you’re not familiar, better do a quick Google Search and I kid you not, you will be fascinated!)

And with this, I’m back.  I can’t promise to constantly write at a regular rate, nor can I offer a consistent niche which according to blog gurus is essential to running a good blog.  Right now, I find advertising on my site counterproductive (aside from default WordPress.com ads) because I don’t have big traffic and I don’t have “keywords” for it.

Instead, by going back to the basics, I’ll be focused more on what blogging is supposed to be all about: writing.

Hence, I offer miniscule yet evolving personal bits in this infinitely growing world of bytes.  To the few who will stumble upon the words I write, consider yourself (un)lucky to get a front row seat of my thoughts and ideas of what is and what could be – expressed through words, and sometimes (while trying hard!) through music and songs.

The words have summoned me, and here I am again.

 

 

I write this blog post in response to Alexis Collado’s blog post found at this link: http://acstudios.asia/2013/08/21/to-be-a-leader/

 


Reading about student leadership from a Lourdesian perspective compelled me to look back on how I yearned to grow as a person and as a leader.  Nostalgia is such a bittersweet pill to take during this time when I just finished my college degree… yet it feels that high school is just weeks away.

What Alexis wrote in his blog brought my psyche back to my high school times, but this time I am armed by experience and wisdom.  To give structure to this blog post, I’d like to dwell on Alexis’s “3 Types of Student Leaders”.

Onto the first point!

I’d like to believe that I am an introverted leader.

After reading Susan Cain’s “Quiet”, I came to appreciate the gifts of being an introvert.  Funny thing is, most people would think that “leadership” and “introvert” should never be joined in a sentence.  Who would blame them for thinking that way?

When we speak of leaders, we think of the charismatic communicators, the politicians, the debaters.  “The Extrovert Ideal”, as Susan Cain expounded.

But as we know, dogs who bark the loudest do not automatically mean they bite the strongest.

No disrespect to the natural, charismatic, and inspiring extroverts but the glorification of having to be greatly great at public speaking led to the proliferation of know-it-alls eager to show the world how they’re better than anyone.  How their confidence and way with words can lead to “wingin’ it” and still managing to impress.

As MarkProfers would harshly say to those know-it-alls, especially during group case studies wherein only a select few will be chosen among the team, “Know when to speak up and know when to shut up.

That elated the introvert in me, once I heard my MarkProf seniors say those! I was happy that somehow, amidst the glorification of the “Extrovert Ideal”, there are people who recognize sugarcoated nonsense versus flavorful delivery of authentic content.

As a student leader then, especially back in high school, I admit that I thought I lacked the guts to always speak up and be the ruthless autocrat.  Then I realized, I just preferred to let my actions do the talking.

My most memorable high school leadership moments were revolved on I being the captain ball of our basketball varsity team, once leading the juniors, and the other time leading the seniors.

Leading a basketball team is hard, because pressure is on the leader to deliver.  To make things worse, I am not as athletic as my teammates and was really not the best player on the team.  I felt inadequate for the role, and I attempted to give up the position.  I talked to my coach.  After some days, he talked to me again and said that I am doing just fine, and thus he would not allow me to give up the position.

I was confused then.  What am I supposed to do?  As an introvert, I did not want to be the “bossy” kind of captain or the disciplinarian. Then I realized, all along, the answer was there.  No need for facades or masks.  Just work hard.  Or work harder than anyone.  I knew that I am in no way the best player in my team, but as the captain, I should be the last one to give up or disobey the coach’s instructions.

Lead the conditioning everyday, lead the stretching, surpass my limits, but most importantly, let my teammates, who I knew were better than me, shine.  I need not score, we had plenty of slashers and scorers in the group.  Focus on the little things, dying for the loose ball, not backing down, and most of all, just trying to live and speak through examples.

Onto the next point!

Alexis mentions cocky leadership in his blog post, while I reframe it as “inner hubris”.

There were select unfortunate times, wherein I felt I was better doing things alone than in the group, especially if the group I belonged with were full of the dreaded free-loaders. But hubris is such a powerful negative trait to have, even if I did not dare display such arrogance.  It was a double-edged sword: I had the belief that as long as I poured my effort and focus on something, I did not need to have teammates at all.

But God is such a good God.  He made me realize that in college, everything’s a whole new level.  Standards are much higher, and workloads are much heavier.  In the vernacular, binatukan Niya ako.  I said hellos to accounting and quantitative subjects I almost failed, if not for the mercy of teachers or the miracles of God.

Since then, I knew I gotta recognize my limits.  Since then, the “inner hubris” transformed into a prayer.  Asking God, or if possible forcing God to smack me in the head and pull me back hard to the ground the moment I think that I’m greater than anyone.  Because at the end of the day, the most sincere way to lead is to recognize that one is a flawed being needing the help of others as well – granting them permissions to shine so as to create a culture of interdependence pushing each other up instead of pulling each other down.

And it all boils down to the last point, knowing one’s self; being at peace with one’s self.

There’s no such as thing as the absolutely perfect leader; there’s only the relatively perfect leader.  Contexts change, and times change.  I realized that introverts can lead in their own way, and need not force one’s self to become the overly-glorified “extrovert ideal”.

We are in the eternal journey towards perfection, each representing a particular fragment of image and likeness of God.  We traverse different roads, yet leading to the same destination.

One must bleed to lead, bathe in his own blood and discover one’s own leadership style.  Masks and cookie-cutter prescriptions are supposed to be just guides, not to be dogmas to be forced to anyone’s throat.

Blood, sweat, and tears are the prices one pay to truly experience the essence of servant leadership.  We will all have our own versions, our own stories, our own hero’s journeys.   We will be followers, we will be leaders.

But we gotta bleed often, and instead of cursing God for the pain, thank Him instead.

Bleeding while leading is a sign that we’re following the footsteps of the true leaders who literally died for our sake.

History’s ink in writing our legacies will be the blood we offer in pursuit of true, authentic, servant leadership.